Monday, June 8, 2015

The fear of losing

Original post:  Jan 21, 2013

We decided to let my seven-year-old watch the Patriots game last night since there is no school today. At the end of the game, the tears in his eyes were much more painful than the final score.

When my son plays in the backyard, his teams never lose. He is now beginning to get to the stage where he cares deeply about sports. In a way, I envy his ability to invest himself so completely in the scores. I would imagine that the victories taste sweeter when you care that deeply. Of course, the lows are also even deeper. I guess that losing doesn't bother you unless you actually care about the result.

My passion for sports has dimmed a bit. I used to care more than I do. Some of it is the natural by-product of the added responsibility of having a family. There are days when I don't have the time or energy to follow as closely as I once did. Perhaps I've also become a little too satisfied. The teams I root for have all been able to claim a championship at least once in my adult life so that makes the stakes of any individual season that much lower. That said, I do miss the adrenaline rush of getting lost in a tense moment. I still get excited, but it's just not as do-or-die as it once was.

A famous athlete once said that they were motivated by the fear of losing. This athlete said that the winning felt good in the moment, but that the losses would just gnaw away like a gaping wound that could not be closed. I think I have some small sense of what they meant.

Whenever my team loses, I inevitably find myself going over all of the turning points. There are usually a few critical moments where a different action or an altered decision could have changed the final result. Once that starts, it's really difficult to turn it off. Sadly, this is the version of me that doesn't care as much as he used to about sports. If I cared as much as my son, I'd be a total wreck!

The good news is that kids are much more resilient than we might think. By this morning, he seemed to have pushed his sadness aside. I'm sure that in a few weeks he'll be reminding me that pitchers and catchers are due to report in Florida!

No comments:

Post a Comment