How to take criticism well

Original post:  Jun 19, 2014

Over the course of our careers, we will run into situations where we do not perform as well as we had hoped. If we are lucky, we'll have a mentor who can point out where things went wrong and how to do better next time. The challenge then becomes ours. If we can stay calm and accept constructive criticism without becoming emotional, we might be able to use that advice to improve.

This article in yesterday's Wall Street Journal addresses that issue. Sue Shellenbarger discusses ways to develop a rare skill:  the ability to take negative feedback well. In her opinion, the potential payoff is huge:

It is a skill that requires practice, humility and a sizable dose of self-awareness. But the ability to learn from criticism fuels creativity at work, studies show, and helps the free flow of valuable communication.

Tempering an emotional response can be hard, especially "if you're genuinely surprised and you're getting that flood of adrenaline and panic," says Douglas Stone, a lecturer at Harvard Law School and co-author of "Thanks for the Feedback."

Here is the link to the full article:  "A Better Response to Criticism at Work"

Here are some tips from the printed article that do not appear online:

When you get negative feedback at work:

1. Don't get angry. The boss will become angry and mistrustful of you. You should calm down, meet again and apologize, and ask for examples or evidence.
2. Don't cry. All the boss will remember is the tears. You should ask for a follow-up meeting, apologize for being emotional and focus on specifics and next steps.
3. Don't deny it. The boss doubts your credibility. You should meet again, explain that you failed to see the big picture at first, and ask for specifics.
4. Don't blame others. The boss will lose respect for you. You should focus on yourself and look for something you can learn from the feedback, then meet again.

Here are some samples of things you should say:

1. "I want to be sure I understand. Is this what you're saying?"
2. "Do you mind if I give that some thought and we'll talk later?"
3. "This comes as a surprise. Could you give me some examples?"
4. "I hadn't considered looking at it that way. Could you tell me a little more about how you see that?"