You can't always get what you want

Original post:  May 4, 2012

At a customer meeting earlier in the week, our company was asked to provide a number of results and services that are currently unavailable. They are also asking for these results by the end of 2012.

As with many customer requests, there are some things that are possible and some that are not. There are also daunting obstacles (both internal and external) to completing some of the requests. The time frame is extremely aggressive. Our response was carefully calibrated.

Ironically, these same customers were asking the suppliers in the room to overlook some of the technical hurdles that they are facing as they bring some of these functions to life in their own organization. They asked us to focus on the positive aspects of what could be done and not on what we were unable to achieve.

As I work with standards, I am reminded that there is a wide gap between rhetoric and reality. It is often unwise to accept everything you hear at face value. If you parse deeply enough, you often find that there is a tiny kernel of truth hidden deep within an ocean of words.

Let's see what happens on January 1.

To your point

Original post:  Feb. 13, 2012

Three little words. Such a short phrase with a disproportionately large impact.

I learned this rhetorical flourish fairly recently. An acquaintance with a consulting background used it consistently in conversation. After some reflection, I began to realize that those three little words were devastatingly effective.

Every communications expert will stress the importance of listening. We often pay lip service to the ideal of listening more than we speak. Many times I have to catch myself to keep from plotting out what I will try to say next when the other person is making their case.

I personally find the phrase "to your point" effective because it establishes a number of facts. First, it means that you have listened to the previous speaker. Second, it confirms that you have accepted the speaker's point as valid. This means that (at some level) you have built an agreement with that person. Finally, it gives you the possibility of pivoting the discussion into a new way while still maintaining unity with the previous topic.

Subtle and concise. Quite the combination. In three words.