Life continually presents us with moments that can cause serious uncertainty. All around us, there are reports of chaos and mayhem. It seems that there are threats and disruptions everywhere. It sometimes feels as if there is a global conspiracy to put everyone on edge at all times.
As we were driving home, I had the radio on and there were reports on the attacks in Paris. My son asked me why it always seemed as if there were only reports on bad things happening. I struggled with a response about how it's easier for people to pay attention to the one bad thing that happens as opposed to the 99 good things that happen. Still, it felt unsatisfying.
One mantra that I try to live by is that you find what you are looking for. I suppose it's another version of the "glass half full" view of life. Instead of allowing the negativity of the moment to overwhelm me, I'm hoping to place the emphasis on the many bountiful blessings in my life.
In Sunday's New York Times, there was an op-ed entitled "Choose To Be Grateful. It Will Make You Happier." I thought I would share that as we prepare in the United States to celebrate Thanksgiving. The author points to some scientific evidence behind this type of an approach.
But we are more than slaves to our feelings, circumstances and genes. Evidence suggests that we can actively choose to practice gratitude — and that doing so raises our happiness.
This is not just self-improvement hokum. For example, researchers in one 2003 study randomly assigned one group of study participants to keep a short weekly list of the things they were grateful for, while other groups listed hassles or neutral events. Ten weeks later, the first group enjoyed significantly greater life satisfaction than the others. Other studies have shown the same pattern and lead to the same conclusion. If you want a truly happy holiday, choose to keep the “thanks” in Thanksgiving, whether you feel like it or not.
How does all this work? One explanation is that acting happy, regardless of feelings, coaxes one’s brain into processing positive emotions. In one famous 1993 experiment, researchers asked human subjects to smile forcibly for 20 seconds while tensing facial muscles, notably the muscles around the eyes called the orbicularis oculi (which create “crow’s feet”). They found that this action stimulated brain activity associated with positive emotions.
There are other positive benefits that can accrue as well:
In addition to building our own happiness, choosing gratitude can also bring out the best in those around us. Researchers at the University of Southern California showed this in a 2011 study of people with high power but low emotional security (think of the worst boss you’ve ever had). The research demonstrated that when their competence was questioned, the subjects tended to lash out with aggression and personal denigration. When shown gratitude, however, they reduced the bad behavior. That is, the best way to disarm an angry interlocutor is with a warm “thank you.”
The article goes on to include some ways to incorporate this spirit into your daily routine.
I'm sure that there are co-workers and family that deserve your thanks. Over the course of this week, take a moment to let them know that you are grateful. I'm sure they will appreciate it.
Here is another link to the full article: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/opinion/sunday/choose-to-be-grateful-it-will-make-you-happier.html
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